Crimson Car Crashes and Crushes
by Allz1298
Summary: My version of fuggiasca's story about Jane's beloved Citroen going bye-bye, with Lisbon to blame. I assure humor and romance ahead if you click on the pretty blue story title ;


A/N: Okay, this may sound familiar, and it's because fuggiasca has posted it twice, but deleted it. She told me I could run with the idea, so I'm changing up the first couple of chapters she wrote, then post mine after.

Enjoy ;)

* * *

"Hey Boss," Cho greeted in his expressionless voice, "we got a call about a dead body found in the East Portal Park fountain. Me and Rigs are already here,"

"Alright, I'm on my way," Lisbon told him as she hurried down the stairs in her apartment to turn on the coffee pot. She really did not like being woken up because somebody was killed. Maybe she should seriously consider a new occupation.

"Is Jane there?" She asked as an afterthought.

"Yeah, he just pulled up," Cho answered her before she hung up the phone.

* * *

The roads were strangely quiet as Lisbon drove towards the crime scene as she gulped her coffee to try to wake her up. She briefly wondered why she was so tired, then remembered that Jane had been over.

She mentally cursed herself for even letting him in. And answering his call at 2 am, an hour after he left her apartment.

But she had a good reason to, right? After the last Red John case, he had been a wreck. Not that he wasn't before, or after other RJ cases. Not that he could be blamed, it wasn't his fault. And Lisbon wanted desperately to help him.

Her thoughts definitely weren't as calm as the streets she drove her car down. Something in the back of her mind was nagging at her, but she couldn't figure out what it was.

* * *

When Lisbon pulled up to the correct spot, she directed her legs toward where Cho was taking notes next to the coroner's van.

"Hey Cho, bring me up to speed,"

"Hi boss. Alright, so the victim is a 40-year old female. Her purse was found by the trash bin over there where Jane is. No ID was found,"

Lisbon nodded at him to continue.

"ME isn't sure about COD yet, but it seems to be drowning. Even though the park seemed it should be full at the time the body was dumped, there aren't any witnesses. We secured the perimeter and Rigsby is searching for evidence." He finished.

"Good work," Lisbon smiled, but then grumbled, "Doesn't seem like I really need to be here,"

Waking her up was _not _a good idea.

"Let's make sure fingerprints are processed as fast as they can," Lisbon told him as she gazed at their victim.

The woman was in the fountain facedown, and her hair was fanned out atop of the water. It created a bleach-blonde film she could tell was dyed with cheap supplies and a bad stylist. She was also barefoot.

Lisbon squinted her eyes at the early-morning sun, averting them from the body, and glanced around the park so she could scan for clues later.

She turned to her left to find her consultant. He was a couple yards away, searching through the supposed purse of the victim, probably trying to find some ingredients for the soup of evidence he was planning on making to catch the killer. Soup. She was either drunk, or really tired and hungry. Even though Jane _did _act like a chef sometimes. Italian chefs are kind of hot.

She shook herself mentally when she started to _giggle _at her thoughts.

"Lisbon, I don't really think that this is the time to smile," Jane lightly teased her.

She ignored it.

"The purse is evidence, Jane. You should give it to forensics. They look like something to do," she rolled her eyes in annoyance and under her breath, "They're all just crowding my crime scene,"

"Oh come on, the purse has nothing to do with the murder, if that's what this is," Jane muttered back.

"You don't think that it's a homicide?"

"I didn't say it wasn't, all I meant was that the purse wasn't a part of it. It made its appearance a little bit late,"

Jane clasped his hands together, put his index fingers to his lips, and turned in a circle.

Lisbon thought about his magic mumbo-jumbo.

"I think you should look for a 15/16-year old boy with a blue-striped shirt that's wearing a yellow hat,"

"Me?" Lisbon asked. "Why not you?"

"You're the detective, aren't you Lisbon?"

"Hmph," Lisbon grunted. "You seem sure of yourself today, Patrick,"

She used his first name to try and get to him.

"It's hard to believe that you can tell what color hat this boy is wearing, if there even is a boy," Lisbon trailed off.

"Unless you somehow saw this boy," she finished.

"The swing set behind me," he told her matter-of-factly.

Lisbon turned to Cho and yelled, "Yellow hat, swing set. I'll go first,"

Cho nodded in response.

Cho and Lisbon both moved towards the teenager, their hands at their waists, ready to draw their guns if need be.

"Hey," Lisbon said while taking out her badge, "we're the CBI. Do you mind if we asked you any questions?"

The boy sprinted to the path that led to the parking lot of the park. He grabbed a bike and sped to the main street. Lisbon ran as fast as she could towards him, but knew it was no use if he had a bicycle. She turned her heels and headed for her car.

She normally wouldn't chase after something like this, but if Jane thought he had something, she would go after him.

"Cho!" Lisbon shouted. "He's on the street!"

She jumped into the front street of her car and started the engine. Lisbon sped in pursuit of the boy, but he suddenly turned sharply to the right. She was going too fast to make it safely, but still tried since not many cars were in the area.

The tail of her car spun to the left and hit a car that was parked next to the sidewalk. Lisbon slid out, kicked the front left tire and swore under her breath.

"Damn it to hell, the son of a bitch,"

* * *

She gazed at the wreck, frustrated, and just stood there a moment. But then she realized whose car it was that she hit. Lisbon walked towards it and leaned her elbows on the roof. She punched the baby blue car, slamming her fist down on it.

"Damn it!"

Lisbon was _never _going to live this down. Her hands found the back pocket of her jeans and pulled out her cell phone. She flipped it open and dialed her first speed dial.

"Lisbon! You missed me already?"

Lisbon could see Jane smiling through the phone. She hated to be the one to put him out of his first good mood in a while.

"Jane, you need to meet me where you parked. And yes, right now, please,"

_Damn the boy in the striped shirt, _Lisbon thought as she sighed and tried to think of ways to get out of her situation.

* * *

A/N: Review please if you want me to post the rest! I think I'll need at least five to continue. :D


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